Scientists say the world is made up of Protons, Neutrons, Electrons, and MORONS. Okay…so maybe made up and added that last one. The older I get, the more and more I find this to be true. This thing they call “common sense” is definitely not common. Who came up with that name anyway? Probably one of the idiots.
When you are in college and a young adult, you don’t realize how stupid everyone is. Partially because you are doing stupid things yourself. But then…graduation comes and you find yourself working full time, many times in an office. This is where you will realize the truth about most people. I have met and worked with people that were painfully stupid. They were incapable of performing even the simplest of tasks…and yet they remained employed and received compensation. Hmmmm….you don’t say.
· Yes, doing your job is part of your job!
· No, I cannot “make” these black and white papers into color copies. I’m not a magic fairy.
· I’m sorry, I don’t know how you spell your middle name. You tell me. It’s your name.
· Thank you for this one-hour lesson on how to use a paper cutter. It was super.
· Sure, I can help you attach that document to an email…Ms. Vice President.
· The word is “Specific” not “Pacific” you idiot.
· Let’s NOT talk about your squats and protein shakes anymore.
· Ummmmm…I don’t think you can say “you’re busy until January.”
· Yes, please. I’d love to join the Christmas Party Committee and have three meetings a week for two months to plan it. That sounds like a great use of everyone’s time.
· What? Not everyone works out for six hours a day while at work? Huh.
· Wait…you’re telling me that can’t go shopping at Pottery Barn and buy stuff on the company credit card?
· Yes, we do need to have a company website…it is 2016 not 1983.
· Sure…I can write your daughter’s graduation thank you notes. I’ll be sure to mail them promptly.
· Don’t plug in a heater at your desk…it will suck power away from your printer…says the IT guy.
· No, you can’t drive a vehicle marked with a large company logo and flick people off. It’s bad for the reputation.
· The size of the font on your name on the phone list is NOT a direct reflection of your status in the company.
· You are really well-educated in the stuff that you made up.
· Yes! Let’s do it the dumbest way possible. I love spinning my wheels and wasting time.
I’ve learned that you can’t change it. There are idiots everywhere. So, all we can do is embrace it. Cheers to the folks that bring us joy with their stupidity. Dumbasses everywhere…we thank you.