Read, read, read. Teachers are always discussing the importance of reading for young children. Most kids love to have their parents read them their favorite stories over and over again…and research has proven that this is very important. Once they enter elementary school, the push increases even more as they begin learning to read on their own. Read, read, read. Every day.

While I don’t disagree that reading is important and essential, it can get pretty boring reading the same story over and over again. I’m tired of the usual stories about white fluffy dogs who find themselves getting into mischief or superheroes that save the world just in the nick of time. BORING! Too predictable. I say we change it up a little bit. Let’s teach our kids some valuable real-world lessons. Let’s just lay it all out there right off the bad. The world is not all unicorns and rainbows. Might as well realize it now.

Here are some short book reviews on some “not so typical” children’s books I came up with.

Let’s keep it real, kids.

Dad’s New Wife “Todd”

This is a lovely little tale about Mikey’s dad getting re-married to his new “mommy,” Todd. Follow Mikey through the disappointing journey where he learns just how judgmental and mean this world can be.

Four Letter Words to Share on the Bus

D%#n, Sh!t, F&$%…This educational masterpiece teaches your kids to pronounce all these gems correctly and learn to use them all in the right context. Teach them young. Nothing means business like a 5-year-old dropping the F bomb. Kids will listen to that sh*%.

Controlling Your Preschool Class Through Fear

Teach your kids confidence early on. You are never too young to learn to dominate your friends. Take control of your preschool classroom and with these unstoppable fear tactics. It even touches on the importance of control by groups (i.e. mini  preschool gangs). Take back the playground.

Mommy’s a Bitch…What are you Going to do About it?

This book teaches kids to take charge of their house. Show your mom who is boss. You want candy? Take it. You want to stay up late? Do it. You want to run around outside pantsless. It’s your prerogative. Don’t let that bitch tell you what to do. A must read for all youngsters looking to dominate their parents.

How to Meet “Friends” on the Internet

This helpful resource is a step-by-step guide on all the best Google searches and the best places on the Internet to chat with older “friends”.  This is a must read for any child that spends hours upon hours unsupervised on the Internet.

Construction Site Games

With all the urban sprawl happening today, there are construction sites everywhere you look. This book outlines entertaining and educational games for kids to play at or around construction sites. Nail guns, cement, metal scraps…there is a game for everything. It even emphasizes the importance of keeping up-to-date on your tetanus shot.

Read them all!

Angels today…badasses tomorrow!

Life Love and Dirty Dishes