- I want to stop repeating the same thing over and over and over again and have one of the kids listen the first time.
- I want to drive a vehicle without garbage, crumbs, and rotten food all over the backseat.
- I want the kitchen counter tops to be free of multiple piles of papers and garbage that we don’t need to keep.
- I want to watch an adult TV show in its entirety without having to pause it 15 times because someone got out of bed.
- I want to sit down with my coffee or my computer for more than five minutes at a time before someone says, “Mommmmm… Will you get me…water, milk, breakfast, a Band-Aid, paper, Kleenex, pants…”
- I want to look in to the kitchen from my cozy spot on the couch and NOT see all the cupboard doors open and every single light left on.
- I want to arrive to church on time, and sweat free. Just once.
- I want all the socks to have matches. Where are the fricking matches?
- I want to have a pen in the house that works and that is kept where it is supposed to be in the drawer. Just one.
- I want to have one meal…just once, where the kids don’t fight over who gets to sit next to mom.
- Even better, I want to sit down through an entire meal.
- I want one day where I don’t have to watch the Disney Channel and here the song “Hey Jessie”.
- I want someone else to do the kid pick up after work. Someone else to wrangle the toddler and the two school-agers. Someone else to carry the backpacks, art projects, boots, hats, gloves, and screaming toddler through the snow in the frigid outdoors to the car.
- I want someone to listen when I say “don’t eat in the living room” and really not eat in the living room.
- I want A silent night. A peaceful, quiet, calm night.
- I talk to you jokers every day, all week long. What makes you think I want to spend my evening with you also?
- Yes, it’s expected that we be there for “team building” I get that. But here is an idea, how about you do it during the day while I am already at work so I get paid for it. Don’t make it more stressful by having it one evening in the middle of the week so your employees have the added stress and guilt of having to make other arrangements for their kids pick-up, transportation to and from sports, and bed time. Not everyone has a paid nanny at their beckon call.
- The food tastes like shit. Always. We don’t want to be forced to eat nasty food because your best friend owns a “catering” company and you get some sort of discount or kick back for using them. Don’t trade your employees for brownie points with your BFF.
- Surprisingly, most women don’t enjoy fending off drunk asses as you try to harass us, dance with us, or be inappropriate with us. Really, we aren’t interested.
- Sorry, but we don’t want to listen your drunken sob story about your divorce or about how you can’t afford to go to Hawaii this year for Spring Break because numbers are down. Really. I. Don’t. Care.
- And my favorite, you won’t even let us socialize with the people that we want to talk to. You criticize us for hanging out with the people that we work with every day and not “mingling” with other departments and managers. So really, you force us to go, and then force us to talk to people we don’t want to. I can’t imagine why no one wants to go!
Mismatched Clothes – It’s just not worth the fight. I let my three-year-old wear pretty much whatever she wants (within reason). A pink floral shirt, black striped pants, and two mismatched socks…why not. Leotard? Sure thing! She may look like a freak, but she is happy an I’m not late for work. Win – Win.
Yellow School Bus – My kids ride the old, yellow school bus to school every day. They also stand OUTSIDE at the bus stop and wait to be picked up. I wish I could drive them to school every day, but it just isn’t realistic for our family. Amazingly, no one has died because of this.
Even though you are no longer my only baby, you will always be my first baby. That is something special that no one else in our family can ever say. I know you feel forgotten sometimes amidst the chaos of our hectic lives.
I understand that you feel I treat you differently than your two little sisters. It is hard to share the attention. But I need you to know that you have something very special.
You have something that your sisters will never, ever have. You are the first.
FINISH READING HERE