Well friends, if there was ever going to be a two way tie for crap-tastic mother of the year, it will be going to the Midwestern Misfit Mom Team Barrie Bismark and Kristin McCarthy. Between the two ranty, snarky moms there are seven kids, 8 million grey hairs (or more), several nervous breakdowns and countless parenting blunders.
In fact, there are so many parenting fails between the two suburban goddesses that it has taken a good couple of months to narrow down the Four Greatest Parenting Fails between the two of them. No really. It ended up being a very long and depressing list.
Without further adieu Barrie and Kristin bring you the top five stories which make them the world’s WORST mothers…at least in their self- judging eyes.
Barrie Lights Granny on Fire!
We lost my mother-in-law earlier this year. It was a tough time for everyone as she was very ill for a long time. She had decided that she wanted to be cremated and since her battle was quite long, we had many conversations with the kids about death and what happens after you die.
One day, my oldest (7 at the time) asked what cremation meant since he heard us talking about it. How do you explain that to a 7 year-old? Everything I read said to be as simple and direct as possible, so, I simply said “cremation is when you burn a body after someone dies instead of burying them at a cemetery. Grandma is in heaven now so she doesn’t need it anymore.” He seemed ok with that answer and didn’t really say much, so I thought I was in the clear. Well, what I neglected to explain was that there are people that do this at the funeral home when family is not present. This, I learned, was a very important detail for a seven-year-old. After the funeral was over and we all started packing up our things to leave, he said, “when do we go to the fire?” I was confused. What fire is he talking about? He proceeded to say “I thought we had a fire to burn grandma.” Well, shit. FAIL. Poor kid thought we had a bonfire in the backyard and threw grandma in. MOM FAIL. He spent days thinking about the “grandma bonfire”. I just hope he isn’t traumatized forever!
“Quick Shout out to BaKakee in Heaven…we miss you more than you know. I know you are laughing at this horrendous, morbid blunder! “