I want you all to meet a really cool lady. She is one of my favorite bloggers. She and I “met” on the internet just a three short months ago. I know…creepy, right? No way! We were each other’s very first blog followers. From that moment on, we were connected in our snarky, sarcastic, and hilarious parenting and life rants. I am looking forward to collaborating with her on many things in the very near future. Please, take a moment and learn more about this hilarious writer and her four princesses!
Tell us your story…how did you get to where you are today?
Well it all started with a boy and a girl…super drunk and dancing on furniture at a frat party to J-Lo. Super romantic I know. Those two hot messes managed to pull each other through college, grad school and life in general and eventually got married and had seven hundred kids. Kidding. It’s only four but it feels like 700. Really I have no idea how I got here! I taught special education for years and then left the profession to better support my family and my husband’s career. I was pretty terrified of being a stay-at-home mom and thought to myself, “hmmmmmmm, what can I do so I don’t become bored?” So I got pregnant. SURPRISE!!!! IDENTICAL TWIN GIRLS. Good news- I will never be bored again. People have always told me to write. I tend to be theatrical and over the top….like always. I finally got on it.
Parenthood. What do you think? Is it everything you hoped and dreamed it would be?
Bwhahahahahahahaha Christ almighty HELL NO! I spent nine months watching TLC’s “A Baby Story.” Needless to say I did not get the real lowdown on this whole chapter of life. I never wanted a large family, now I could not imagine it any differently. I never dreamed I could love humans like I love my little ladies. I also never imagined that marriage and kids would bring the struggles and trials that it has. The whole parenting experience is amplified by about a million. The good, the bad, and certainly the ugly!
What do you fear most as a mother?
My kids being hurt, or kidnapped or DYING. I am actually on medication for those irrational fears. I can not even read Huffcrime anymore. Now that the kids are getting a bit older and craving their independence the whole fear factor has increased ten fold. I want to put them all in my pocket and zip that shit up. The world is scary and crazy shit happens all the time. I am currently building a large bubble for us to all live in. Let me know if you are interested. I can sell you property. We can be bubble neighbors.
What annoys you in life? (can be anything…stupid people, parenting stories, family, or Walmart…you get the idea)
Today the answer would be everything. If I had to narrow it down to my current pet peeves I am going to have to go with Arianna Grande, Our F**KING disaster of a toy room, doing five heads of hair each day, wiping surfaces twenty-four hours a day and the fact that I cannot stop eating Halloween candy. I am menstruating though, so really the answer is actually everything.
What is something you simply can’t live without?
My darling little daughters…and beer.
If you could travel back in time, what would you do differently in your life?
Again I am such a crap mood today I really cannot be trusted with my answers to questions like this one. Especially with my mounting irritation at my putzing husband right about now. I think in all seriousness though I don’t think I would change a thing. No wait. I would go back to when I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter and I would NOT eat a box of Mac N Cheese and twenty piece chicken nugget meals every single day. That shit was not cute.
What is the dumbest question you have ever been asked?
This one is a piece of cake! “Is it harder having twins?” Oh gee, hmmmmmm. Let me think. Is it harder walking with only one leg? OF COURSE IT IS HARDER HAVING TWO AT ONCE! You would not believe the number of times I get asked this question. Cringe,.
What is your weirdest quirk?
I am the world’s most OCD sleeper. I have to have a mountain of pillows all set up at the right angles, the sound machine must be blaring in my ear to mask the sounds of my husband’s snoring and I cannot have him touching me. I need to sprawl out in my space to even have a chance at sleep. The littlest deviation from this weird sleep schedule will send my through the roof.
Why did you start blogging?
For years people would listen to me talk and rant and tell me that I should start writing some of these stories down. I really never thought about it seriously though. Last summer I came down with the worst case of bronchitis and was stuck in bed for two days while my mom held the fort down. That is when I pulled the trigger, whipped out my wallet and created my blog. I really actually hated my blog’s name for the first few weeks, now it has grown on me though.
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