Once a woman has kids, she changes and is never really the same again. Your brain cells are gone, your body will never be the same, and you are an emotionally basket case most of the time. I bet if you asked any mom out there, she would say that her brain just works differently now…and sometimes it doesn’t seem to work at all.  Her mind is always on someone else first, her children. And believe me, they create a lot of things to think and worry about. This just comes along with being a mom.

Not only does having children make you lose your mind, it also preoccupies your mind. All the time. There are far too many things to think about at any given moment. “I hope they are having a good day…oops, I forgot to pack their snack this morning…did I feed the cat…I think we have gymnastics tonight…I wonder what we can do as a family this weekend?” And so on and so on. This can lead to some interesting behavior from time to time since we are not always paying complete attention to what we are doing. Moms don’t even realize that they are doing it, but for people who are not moms, well, we probably look pretty darn crazy. Honestly, maybe we are crazy. I certainly feel like it sometimes. Kids will do that to a person.

Here are some things that I find myself doing and I don’t even realize it!

Swaying back and forth as if you were holding a baby. I find myself doing this all the time…in line at the store, waiting for the elevator, and even when chatting with co-workers. Back and forth, back and forth. Probably looks pretty weird and might make people uncomfortable.

Talking out loud to yourself all the time. Sometimes I feel like this is the only way I can keep anything straight. I have full on conversations with myself at times. I am sure I look like a whack job.

Pointing out firetrucks and garbage trucks to your co-workers. You are so used to doing this for your kids, that it just comes naturally. I even find myself getting excited when I see one of them driving down the road.

Referring to your spouse as “daddy” or “mommy”.  “Go ask Daddy.” “Maybe Daddy knows where your hat is (Hahahaha – it was a good thought).”

Cutting up your own food into bite-sized pieces. Although this can be helpful and can prevent choking, it is unnecessary. I do it so often that I forget.

Catching yourself watching kid’s shows long after they are asleep. The sound of The Disney Channel and the “movie of the week” have become so normal I don’t even notice anymore.

Hearing “phantom crying” and going to check on the kids, AGAIN. “Did you hear that? Did someone make the faintest sound? I know I heard something.”

Awkwardly holding your purse or bag in front of you because you don’t know what to do with your arms. You are so used to holding a child, backpacks, diaper bags, and all of their other crap, you don’t know what to do when your arms are free.

Carrying around way too many things in your purse, for emergencies. Underwear, snacks, socks, candy, crayons, wipes, etc. It’s a joke. But it is best to be prepared.

Referring to ourselves in the third person. “Mommy will be right back.” “Mommy loves you.” We would sound pretty dumb if we did this anywhere else. “Mommy would like to order the side salad and a diet coke.” “Mommy would like to know where the bathroom is.”

So…maybe we are crazy. Maybe we are not. We are moms. It’s just what we do now.

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