Threenager: Size of a three-year-old…attitude of a teenager. I’m sure if you don’t have one yourself, you have seen them around bossing and yelling at everyone in sight. These little divas want to rule the roost, and will do whatever they can to make that happen. I have my very own, feisty threenager. Like most kids, she can be sweet, funny, and adorable…but then at the drop of a hat, she flips the hulk switch and can be bossy, mean, aggressive, and sometimes, very angry. Every day is a challenge and you never really know what you are going to get. Whoever said that twos were terrible duped parents everywhere into thinking that once the child turned three, they left all that behind. Sadly, it doesn’t quite work that way.  Parents (myself included) are blindsided when they realize that three can be so much worse and leaves them wishing for the glory days of the “terrible twos.”

My threenager has several personalities that come out multiple times each day. Each one is very real; each one is very different. Allow me to introduce you to them.

Please meet:

  1. The Sweetheart: This little girl is the sweetest thing you will ever meet. She snuggles, hugs, kisses, and tells you she loves you. She wants to do everything with you, even play with your hair. She is a lovey, adorable little sweetheart. I wish she would come out more often!
  1. The Know It All: This is the girl that knows everything and can do everything by HERSELF. She can get her own shoes on, pour her own glass of milk, and get her own seatbelt buckled. You get the idea. She is fiercely independent and how dare you even think about helping her or giving her any advice on anything. Get used to waiting. They move at the speed of molasses.
  1. The Baby: This is a needy little thing occasionally makes an appearance, especially when they are not feeling good or when you are busy helping a different child. “Mommy do it” for things that she just yelled at me for helping her do 10 minutes ago. Mommy comb my hair; mommy get me milk…NOT DADDY. MOMMY has to do it.
  1. The Drama Queen: Just about everything makes her believe that the world is ending. Your sock feels funny…end of the world. You can’t find the blue blanket…end of the world. Your brother turned the light off when you were in the bathroom…end of the world. Your moive is no longer available on Netflix…the end must be near. Any of these things cause massive melt downs and on-the-ground tantrums.
  1. The Angry Dictator: This girl is mean. She says a lot of, “Mine” or “You’re stupid”. She can go from Sweetheart to Angry Dictator in a matter of seconds. And the looks…the evil, angry face. You live in a constant state of fear not knowing when the dictator will emerge. Look out. She might cut you.

I am hoping that these multiple personalities disappear with time and that only one remains. The one that is happy, loving, funny, and perfect like I know she really is. This too shall pass, right?

Diary of an imperfect mum

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