My kids are constantly yelling at me about something. “Mommmmmmmmmm!” “Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mommmmmmmmmmmmm!” It’s what kids do, right?
I guess it makes sense. Moms can fix anything, do anything, and find everything. We are pretty much superheroes (except for when we are assholes). It’s no wonder they are constantly calling for us.
The thing about it is, why do they always need to be in another room when they do it? Can’t they just come find me with their important messages?
Here is a list of emergencies and why my kid might be yelling “Mommmmmmmm” from the top of the stairs.
1. I need a snack.
2. Watch this!
3. I spilled water.
4. Does this shirt goes with these pants?
5. Can you bring me a scissors?
6. Where are my socks?
7. Did you hear my fart?
8. I need Chapstick.
9. The toothpaste is gone.
10. Look at this cute stuffed animal.
11. Watch while I throw this cute stuffed animal into the air.
12. I want candy.
13. Where is my shiny rock?
14. Can I invite 8 friends to my birthday party eight months from now?
15. Can I have three Band-Aids.
16. Where is the cat?
17. Just making sure you are still there.
18. I need blots of boxes.
19. Their arm hurts.
20. What is that smell?
21. I have to tell you something.
22. Look at this Barbie dress.
23. I am missing a blue Nerf bullet. Where is it?
24. What is your third favorite color?
25. I pooped!
26. The toilet is plugged.
27. Do you like orange juice?
COME HERE!! QUICK! MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…
28. When is Easter?
29. I saw a bug.
30. Look at me stand on one foot.
31. Remember when we went to the waterpark last morning?
32. I peed on the floor.
33. What’s for dinner?
34. Do we have any string?
35. My head itches.
36. Look what I can do!
37. Do Santa’s reindeer like celery or just carrots?
38. My brother is looking at me.
39. Where are you?
40. I’m bleeding.
41. Why is the floor wet?
42. I found a booger.
43. How do you play chess?
44. Look at my finger.
45. What should I be next Halloween? (On November 5th…)
46. I can’t find my toothbrush.
47. Will you polish my toes?
48. My favorite food is toast. What is yours?
49. Where is the pink Barbie shoe?
And so on and so on….for all eternity.